bedside

so i'm here and i'm eating all the red popsicles in the freezer. my tongue is red, my room is still a mess and there's no sense in cleaning. the summer's here like an old friend with good intentions and we're all ready to be saved. the insomnia gets worse as the days get longer and my love is like a shattered glass bent on finding all the pieces and lost in all the cracks. fire seems to make things grow, all the candles in my house are crooked. it's safe to say that the night knows me best. night doesn't tell my secrets, it let's me smoke in the kitchen and sit on the roof. my bones still feel limber, i still sit in one position for hours, i still miss the way the past feels. i still miss the way yesterday was. i miss all my yesterdays, but never as keen as tomorrow. crying won't do any good, being upset won't change anything but i still am. everyone wishes my slight breakdowns are always their fault. if only it was that easy. becoming the the people you wrote about four years ago is never what you expect. if it wasn't true, i would have made it up. gala says i'm getting crazier by the day. somedays i feel too trivial to exist. i'm moving soon...i don't know where, but bring me boxes anyways.